Ex Wiccan & Occultist Beth Eckert will be a future guest on my radio show. She kindly wrote her amazing testimony for this blog. Read how she sought to enlighten her ‘inner self’ as she practised astral projection, witchcraft, paganism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Jewish Mysticism, meditation … worshipped a goddess, the moon and the ocean … she used marijuana, psychedelics, tarot cards, astrology, gemstones, performed spells and rituals.
But Beth became suicidal. Hear how she came to Jesus, had demons cast out of her and her life was transformed.
Please also see her YouTube video below!
My name is Beth and I am here to tell my story. Jesus Christ has given me new life, and I am proud to share it, to testify for His glory and honor.
I grew up in a home where God was not frequently mentioned. As a young child I attended the Mormon Church with my grandmother on my mother’s side, and I came to understand God as cruel and judging. It was something that was so deeply ingrained in me, it was just normal and never even thought of. As I got older I stopped attending the Mormon church, as I never found anything there that spoke to me. I never got any truth while attending there.
As I came into my teen years severe depression settled in deeply. I often fantasized about dying and would cut myself to relieve the intense pain I lived in. Little did I know as I cut myself I was inviting demons into my life. I began throwing myself into relationships to fill my great need to be loved and accepted – a feeling I had never had before in my life. The result of that was rape and other sexual abuse by different boys I would think loved me, but were only trying to use me.
As the depression grew, I sought out new ways to numb the pain, and thus turned to drugs and alcohol. It started off with marijuana, but soon turned into an addiction to psychedelics and dabbling in whatever came my way. I wanted to feel good and be happy, and it was the only source that seemed to come even close.
In my late teens a friend committed suicide, and it was at that moment I broke. I turned my back completely on God – who had never been there for me anyway – and became an atheist. I was tired of living in a world that was full of despair and misery. Shortly after I met two Wiccans, one a male who came from a family of witches. He began to teach me about his beliefs, about the way he saw god and the world. His ideas were fresh and fell on me like rainfall. He weaved a picture of god that is a part of everything and is everywhere. That meant I was a part of god, and that I was connected to that power. Finally something that I could hold on to for hope.
They began to teach me about witchcraft and how to perform spells and rituals. It was not long after that they cast me aside and shut me out of their lives. In my devastation I threw myself deeper into learning the craft, to prove to them how serious it was to me. That I was good enough to be in their family again.
As I learned more about witchcraft and paganism, I also began to study the eastern religions, such as Buddhism and Hinduism. I was fascinated with the concept of monotheism and of the “god self’.
I worshipped the moon and the ocean – literally sat and worshipped them. I used gemstones on my chakras and meditated to find inner peace and spiritual growth. I did tarot cards and astrology to predict the future.
I practiced heavily for about 5 years. During that time I met a young man who I lured into the occult with me. Together we did magic and drugs until eventually I got pregnant. That rocked my world pretty badly. Once I finally got my mind together in the fact that I was going to have a baby, I wanted to make a lot of changes in my life. Cutting back drug use seemed pretty big at that time.
We got married right before my first son was born. Unfortunately our marriage fell apart only months later, as the Wiccan man came back into my life with his sister. My husband fell prey to her charms and cheated on me, leaving me and our infant son. Eventually we got back together, but our relationship was tumultuous at best. The use of witchcraft escalated then, until he cheated on me and left me a second time. I turned to psychics to predict if my family would be restored, because by that time I was pregnant with our second son.
I had to move back home at that time. I fell into the deepest depression yet, as my marriage dissolved, and got into another abusive relationship that lasted for 5 years. I abandoned my witch craft at that time, because I could barely function. My suicidal tendencies came roaring back to life and misery once again engulfed me. I longed for the days where I was free and at one with the universe and the earth – my creator, my goddess.
Unbelievably enough when that relationship ended, I got into yet another. I was extremely reluctant, but God knew much better than I did. We ended up being married and having two more sons together. He is the most amazing husband and father a woman could ask for. A huge blessing in my life, that is a sign of God’s love for me.
During the next phase of life I felt a deep longing to get back to my spiritual roots. My husband had no interest in paganism, and had his own set of beliefs. It never caused a problem between us, it just left me feeling a deep hole in me that I knew needed to be filled. I looked around for covens that I could possibly join, but there was never much in my area. I also found it hard to imagine bringing some of the craziness into my children’s lives. I mean naked rituals in the moonlight doesn’t exactly scream child friendly.
So I settled for trying the Unitarian Universalist Church and the Unity Church here and there over a few years. It felt good to have a place to grow spiritually again, and that would help teach my children. Both churches had the same belief basically – one god, many paths. I wanted my children to embrace this belief! I was even open to them learning a little about Jesus, even though I really didn’t know who He was. As a matter of fact, Jesus was nothing but a swear word to me.
At one point in time one of my sons came home with a Bible from a neighbor friend of his. I mocked it and told him that it was all lies. Yet I let them go to the church youth group because I wanted them to make friends. I made sure to tell them everything they learned was lies when they would come home though. I hated Christians with a passion. They were judgmental hypocrites. I had never had anyone tell me the Good News – only that I was a sinner going to hell. I did not believe in hell or the devil. I thought it was more made up garbage, like the Christian beliefs.
Finally about 3 years ago my husband and I decided to buy a house. We found a beautiful house in a suburb about 20 minutes from where we currently lived. After much drama we were finally able to buy the house and move in, 4 months later. It was there that I began searching for churches in our new neighborhood.
I longed for spiritual growth and community for my children. I just couldn’t get on board with the doctrine and theology of Christians and Mormons. It was a bunch of bull to me. Yet there was one church near me that had a homeschool group with classes. Being homeschoolers it was very appealing to me! If only they weren’t Christians!
So once again we tried a local Unity Church. It was only about 15 minutes into their service I was begging my husband to leave and go to the church with the home school group! He agreed and off we went, with our sons. It was a very strange experience for me, to go to a Christian church. I had never been to one, except one other time in my life.
Yet somehow as I sat there and listened to the worship band play, I felt at home. I took one of the pamphlets from the pew home and began to read it. Whereas before I would have just burned that sucker, this time I began to understand and be interested.
I have been to that church every Sunday since (with the exception of 2 womens retreats and a church camp out) over the past 2.5 years. My husband and 3 of my sons were baptized and we became members. I am active in Bible studies, women’s groups, and on the Mission Commission and Worship Team. I am totally sold out for Jesus Christ.
I have had deliverance and had demons cast out of me, I have the gift of discerning spirits and praying in tongues, as well as intercessory prayer. And God is giving me my testimony to minister to people, to bring light and healing to the captives who are in need oF His love.
I praise God for all His work He has done to bring redemption and salvation into my life. He has given my hope and love for the first time in my life. Praise Jesus Christ and His glorious name! I pray as you read this that God would bless you with His peace and Truth.
That if there are any areas of darkness in your life, that He would shine His love into it and bring healing to you. And I pray that you would share your testimony everywhere you go, no matter how small you may think it is.
Every testimony is beautiful and special, as it glorifies our Father in Heaven. Bless you, my dear friend.
See Beth’s Facebook page!
Also see her website www.theothersideofdarkness.com