This is a lengthy testimony from a YouTube friend of mine. It’s worth reading, as the detail and conversations convey how she fell under the manipulation and control of a Psychic. Her visits became addictive and it was difficult for Shayla to break free from.
Shayla lives in New York and shares how she eventually stopped visiting a Psychic and took the Bible’s warnings more seriously …
Shayla
‘I’ve always been interested in arts and had been a very extroverted person all of my life. Very friendly and open-minded to new things. The early parts of my life I just knew I wanted to be an entertainer. So I was involved in modeling and acting, until finally I stumbling upon something unexpectedly, I’d never thought of myself as a singer and it was odd how I fell in to it. I was a very exceptional writer, I started traveling a lot and writing songs with major names in the Music Industry, I did shows and had my own group before I branched off and became a solo artist, my life was starting to evolve into something I didn’t imagine, but slowly I started seeing a darker side to the fast-paced life of the Music Industry. I was drinking every single day and partying all night. I had a Christian up-bringing but it was definitely not reflective at that time, it was as if I had lost touch with God.
By the time I was 23 I’d lived or stayed in have a dozen States including Canada, trying to chase a dream but I later found out that while I was chasing this dream something was chasing after me, and it was dark. After spending about a month in California with a Musical Legend and things not really working out the way I planned I decided to head back to where I began my journey which was Chicago and from Chicago back to New York City. This is when the darkness started to get deep. I started to get really depressed on and off and was being attacked off on by demons. Literally, I would have sleep paralysis and this would last for a few years, I wasn’t quite knowledgeable about what Spiritual Warfare was all about, but there was indeed a battle going on.
Barely a year would pass before I made another move, being the restless spirit that I was, I was always searching, I think for peace, but I didn’t know how to go about it, I was running from darkness. I made my way back to the Midwest, this time I would make it to Milwaukee. The first few year were very depressing and for me to have a regular schedule an a job was something that took time to get use to. The spiritual attacks would happen off and on, I just couldn’t understand why or what was going on. One day I went to the store and a woman stopped me. I was standing at the check out counter and she looked directly at me and said “God hasn’t forgotten about you.” I just looked at her, and I was kind of upset because I thought who does she think she is telling me that, She doesn’t even know me? I started to walk away, but when I looked back she was gone. I thought how strange but that would be the beginning of God leading me, calling me and I didn’t even realize it at the time.
Months went on and I had started having so many problems at work with a certain supervisor and co-workers, everything just seemed to be crashing down on me and I couldn’t take it anymore so I quit. I started to fall into an even greater depression because I had no income coming in and I couldn’t handle it. Then one day I was getting ready to go somewhere and I heard a voice, an audible voice say simply “Pray”. I was astonished as no one was in the house but me! I wasn’t really afraid but I still looked around and I waited, then I got down on my knees and prayed.
Whenever I prayed I always made sure to pray for my family, especially for my brother because I knew he was going through a lot of things. Oddly enough I would moved down to Texas where my brother was temporarily and two armed men would break into the house and shoot at him, but not one bullet touched him. That day that the armed burglars came in I was supposed to be there along with my sister in law. I know God was protecting us because my brother is ex-military and his two younger kids were in the room with him. He knew instinctive to draw them out of the house. The way it worked out was, he was supposed to go to see a recruiter about re-enlisting into the military but the recruiter cancelled for some reason and my sister-in-law decided she wanted to go grab a cup of coffee so we left and not 20 minutes later did we get a call to come back home and that the police were there and were doing finger prints, needless to say they eventually caught the two bandits a few weeks later. It was by the grace of God that we were spared and you would have thought I’d learn my lesson from that.
I eventually moved back to Milwaukee and found a job, but I was still depressed, still feeling like my life was meaningless without music, or passion or direction. So I started partying away again and I will never forget it. The day after New Year 2012, I felt this darkness come over me and it was so thick. That next night I had a dream that I was speaking to a Psychic and she held my hand and told me your hand is too warm. The following day I was watching videos on YouTube a few about testimonies from various Ex-Spiritualists and something about their stories really touched me it quite vexed my heart however, because I had a friend over whom was heavily into the occult and she got upset because she felt as if those people were saying ‘too much’, ‘telling all the secrets’ as she put it.
Later that night she enticed me to go see a Psychic, and I remembered the dream I had and I told her. She said, it’s a sign you’re supposed to go needless to say I went with her. I sat in the car, and something deep inside said to me “don’t go in, don’t go.” I went anyway. My friend was the first to go inside and get her reading, the it was my turn.
“Your body craves passion, you desire to feel love but you hold back, you don’t want anyone close to you,” The psychic told me her expression intense as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. How could she know all that? I thought in unbelief. I shook my head and thought well, she is a psychic. I had reservations about coming inside and I think she knew that as she began to tell me more about myself. “I can sense a lot of fear,” she began as she closed her eyes and then opened them again slowly. “You have gone through a lot in your life you’ve been hurt a lot and you have had a lot of struggle. You were meant to do so much but something is holding you back; something is keeping you from being the person you were meant to be. You were meant to be a warrior, you were meant to be great, a very influential person.” She said her eyes were looking directly into mine and eyebrows slightly burrowed, as she seem to be reading me. Something about what she said and how she said them began reverberating
inside my head.
Some how I already knew this, I had always felt this and I had just thought about this very thing a few days prior oddly enough. She continued on. “You’re a very generous person, just a very kind person but you are misunderstood. You’ve never been able to really connect the way you would want to with others because you’ve been hurt. Who hurt you?” She asked as I looked up at her I felt a thousand times smaller than I was than as I entered. I couldn’t believe it but I went on to tell her about the one true love that just completely caused my heart to stop beating as it should and all the relationships I would have in the future would have been effected because of that one time it just completely shattered my soul but not just that but a lifetime of heartbreaks, not romantic but just in life itself my belief had dwindled, the short glimmers of hope shattered by the negative force. I had some how built a wall so high that tearing it down or even climbing over it would be damned near impossible.
When would I ever begin to feel again, when would I ever come back to life? She sensed emptiness in me that I had placed so far down inside that I had kept hidden. While I would smile and fake happiness no one knew the true sadness that I felt inside my soul, sadness so thick that the darkness was deeper than opaque and transcended into something more like an abyss. I was in denial of my feelings and emotions and become very much numb.
“You don’t truly know yourself. This is not the person you really are. You are a person full of passion but this energy is keeping you from reaching your full potential. You have so much to give so much love but you’ve become shut off, heartbroken is not even a word to describe your emotion, it’s like you’re in a state of mourning,” she said as I felt the biggest lump in my throat, I tried hard to fight back my emotion and thank God I succeeded the last thing I wanted to do was be all teary eyed in front of a complete stranger.
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything is okay then everything blows up in your face. So what was I missing all this time, there was so much irony there, in my life it was like a free ride but I already paid. That’s exactly how my life seemed, but why? It’s supposed to be my turn but someone keeps walking in front of me, and I have to laugh because as much as the irony is sickening it’s oddly and darkly humorous. You live and you learn but what you learn doesn’t always mean it’s going to help you, what you learn from experience can some times keep you from moving forward and that was the key if I was ever going to break this horrible cycle. I had three sessions with the psychic Eva and I felt as if she really hit on a lot of things that would help me on my sort of bittersweet journey.
“You’ve never truly been happy,” She had told me. She was right, I’ve had happy moments and happy times but what was happy? That’s always a journey and never a destination. Happiness is a pursuit of the human experience. We are all searching for that one thing that is going to move us, but what if that one thing that moves us is never meant to be something outside of us but and inner experience and all that soul searching wasn’t anything that had to do with just our aspirations and dreams but who we are in conjunction with those things. Happiness is very much a mood in the sense that we are happy at times. I think we search for happiness outside of the very essence of the word. We seek happiness through people, acquiring material things, wealth, even relationships but this is temporary, this happens in shifts it is not stable, it doesn’t last, it comes from somewhere else. (True happiness is knowing God, for he brings joy and peace)H
I had always looked at myself as a hopeless romantic, but a hopeless romantic that didn’t have anyone I truly wanted to express my love for and my love runs deep. Although when I finally was presented with the opportunity to express that emotion it was trampled on which in turn made me afraid to ever let go again, not ever.
“You’ve closed your heart to love. That’s not who you are. God doesn’t recognize us by our flesh or by our face, but he recognizes us by this,” she said pointing to her heart. “You are meant to impact the world on a great scale. You think that God doesn’t hear you, that he’s not listening to you, but he is. I know you pray but because of this negative force it keeps you from obtaining all that you can be. You have to believe you have to have faith I can help you, but I need you to believe I need you to trust me, I want you to believe in yourself. Faith without works is dead. Meaning God helps those who help themselves.
It’s crazy but the pieces are supposed to fall into place. Sometimes it’s belief that gets us there. It is belief tied into our works and our abilities. I think about this and it reflects the person that I truly am. With all the talents that I have I had to work harder then I ever had in my life to obtain and reach goals and sometimes that’s what it takes, that extra push, that extra effort. So many years seemed like a blur as I looked back, but I must admit I have come a long way, with some of those years being quite tumultuous I had grown and I had learned and I had taught. I learned the importance of being alone and how it’s significant to the soul to spend time with ‘self’ because we have to figure out who we are, we have to silence our minds sometimes from the clutter, from the noise and become quiet to our thoughts and receptive. I learned to understand what I am feeling and why I am feeling it; I learned not to be afraid of what I am feeling. I learned to stop blaming others and look inward to the mistakes I’d made because when it all comes down to it we are responsible for our actions and what we take and what we accept. How then can I look back at my life and say it is anyone’s fault that I didn’t live or didn’t know how to live because I held back the best part of me.
Nothing is promised and nothing that is broken is permanent. Broken pieces can be put back together. If you truly want to be whole love can make that happen. I have found the true meaning of forgiveness and it took me years to understand the moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle, the moment I jump off of it was the moment I touched down. Through my frailty I found strength and forgiveness gave me freedom because I didn’t have to hold on to it because I knew it meant me no good to hold on to hate, it was a poison but I am now free from the bondage of not forgiving for it is for me.
Over the course of a few weeks strange things started to happen things I couldn’t quite understand fully. Life had pretty much been a rollercoaster for me. I have always pretty much been in transit for the most part, it is true what they say of life, it is truly a journey.
The week that followed, the Psychic told me to fast and during that week it was as if I had the revelation of all revelations. First of all, I knew going into her place of business that I shouldn’t. It began so strangely, I had actually had a dream prior to all this coming about that I was speaking to a palm reader or psychic and she began to read my palm and as she looked at my hand she looked up at me and said, your hand is too warm and she just kept saying it over and over again. I awakened shortly; oddly enough a friend would come over and entice me to go to see a psychic. We went to one place, but it wasn’t open so my friend asked me to look online for one near by and we found one, we called her up and she gave us her location. When my friend and I entered, I remembered feeling so uncomfortable and scared because I knew I shouldn’t be there. She asked which of us would like to go first and my friend elected to be the one to go first. I sat in the car nervously, not knowing what to expect and thus it began.
But as I was saying during the week of the fast for nine days it was like a great intercession. I began to wonder and question. The psychic had been speaking as if she were a messenger of God, she spoke of deliverance, and things that I could relate to on a Godly level and it began to make me feel comfortable as if maybe what I was doing wasn’t so bad. She said, “I know you didn’t know what to expect when you walked through that door, I know you were scared.” I just looked at her and I thought to myself she is right I didn’t know what she was going to say and I was apprehensive but in the back of my mind I felt something was still wrong. She began to relay messages about my family and how they were and she did hit on a lot of things but she also missed on a lot of things and told me things that may or may not be true that I didn’t know. I began to wonder about her words during my fast and I began to doubt so the only place that I could find peace and really understand what I was up against was the Bible and I knew in the bible somewhere it did say something about not going to consult with psychics, so I began to do some research and sure enough it said “there should not be found one among you that consult with spirits or mediums or psychics.” As a matter of fact there are a few books in the bible that speak of not going to consult with them because they will defile you and deceive you. It bothered me so much and I felt absolutely horrible. What had I done? I knew in my heart it was wrong but I was not sure I was deceived what was I doing? I still couldn’t believe it.
‘…for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.’ (Bible, 2 Corinthians 11:14).
One night I had a horrible dream about the psychic it was supposed to be her but it didn’t really look like her and I asked her, are you a psychic? I just kept asking her and her face completely changed and turned into this horrible demon looking image and it woke me up.
A few nights later I was so convicted and so tormented that I had to pray as I always did but this was different. I asked God, please let me know right from wrong and for him to open my eyes, am I to see this psychic, is this right? That very night he answered my prayer as plain as the sun that shines in the morning sky. The dream was completely clear and concise, it was unmistakable and without confusion.
The Son (Jesus) was kneeling down praying and crying, I felt as if he was praying for me and then I saw a bright light towards the heaven, and out of the light was a voice and it said simply and plainly, “Do Not Go Back!”
I remember waking up quite disturbed, but not in a way that would cause any type of fear emotion but of realization and consecration because the Lord had spoke to me and I knew that it was of God because it did not go against his word it did not conflict or make a lie of his word because I already knew that I should not be going to see a psychic and in conjunction with that it also states in his word for me not to go so it was confirmation. I felt completely convicted and I realized the sin that I had committed against God and had grieved him. I realized that the son was crying because of my sin because he knew that I would continue to go after I just asked him if it was right or wrong and he had given me the answer so many times but being a sinner I failed to listen.
I remembered stopping by and she told me, you were supposed to call, I’m not sure if I was or not but I needed to see her to tell her I had to stop. She wasn’t there so she called back as she didn’t answer the first time and I was in the car with a friend. She said, “I thought we agreed you were going to call?” I replied, “Oh, I don’t remember.” She then went on asked if I was by myself and I wasn’t so she told me to call her back when I was alone. So, when I did finally call her back I tried to tell her how I felt what I was doing wasn’t right, that I’m supposed to trust in God and lean on him, It sounded almost as if she was in a restaurant or something because there was as lot of noise I could hear in the background. She went on to tell me that I had to do what was ‘in my heart’, and that I needed help that I couldn’t do it on my own.
So I went on and continued seeing this psychic. One night I went to work and there was a horrible snowstorm the lights went out and it was just a bad night. I had been hearing a voice for a while telling me to slow down, slow down. I didn’t listen as usual and when driving to a stop sign I was going too fast and ended up almost crashing as I slid on the snowy street. That really scared me and it should have stopped me. I went to the psychic and I told her and she was surprised and she began with her rant about the negative energy and how it was strong and very much present in my life. I then asked her something that completely threw her off, I asked if she believed in God and she looked at me surprised and said “Of course I believe in God, I’m a Christian, remember I am the one who showed you how to pray.” That really bothered me, because did she not know that I already knew how to pray? I remember her making a comment one time prior telling me in her own words, “I know you pray, but you do not think he listens or hears, he hears your prayers.”
I just knew I shouldn’t be there and I began to try to tell her about the dream I and it was like I didn’t want to tell her, it was like a part of me still wanted to believe that perhaps she was right, that just maybe she could help me. I said to her, because I couldn’t concentrate any longer on what she was talking about as far as the “negative energies”.. and I said to her “I’m sorry, I just I have to tell you this it’s bothering me, I just had this dream.” She looked at me her voice softened almost as if her heart may have sunken, and she said… “What was your dream about?” Just as I was about to tell her it was as if the words couldn’t come out. There was a long pause and she continued to look to me waiting for a response but nothing came and it was as if I felt that if I should tell her the truth that it might possibly hurt her and I know it sounds weird but I was scared and I just couldn’t do it so I told her that I forgot and she said to me. “See you can’t even remember, these negative energies are moving us apart.” I felt terrible after that. She then said, “I want you to pray Shayla, pray that our bond is stronger.” After I left her I remember going home and completely feeling lost, feeling horrible and convicted of my sinful nature. I felt I had disappointed God and not only that myself. I was so upset I cried and was in complete anguish over my actions and my choices.
A few days would pass and it was as if I was becoming addicted to her messages and silly antics and things that I thought was strange started to happen. I began putting things in envelopes with pictures of myself and brother and 9 one dollar bills, then another 9 one dollar bills, then it was 9 one hundred dollar bills, then another 9 one hundred dollars bills. It started to get completely ridiculous after that; I started to feel really stupid and foolish. She even gave me a red ribbon that she had anointed and prayed over. I remember the last night we spoke and she asked me about what I was doing and I told her about my affiliations with a revolutionary movement of truth and she said that she felt that my voice wouldn’t be heard and that I shouldn’t be a part of this group. She began to tell me how she felt I was meant to lead and become influential. She said to me, “From the first moment that I met you, I felt something was strange about you, rare.”
She asked me many questions and I began to wonder if she was so psychic why all the questions? I began to tell her that I knew a lot about what was going on in this world, things that people were not aware of. Things that were hidden, secret agendas and cabals that are so deep and profound that if any were to find out it would destroy their illusion of what they deem is reality. She looked at me her face very solemn very serious and she said, “Are you talking about The Illuminati?” I replied, “yes,” and she said, “how do you know about this, this is a very old ancient knowledge it stems back from many years, centuries ago.”
I began to tell her of my studies and my affiliations with the music industry and my personal findings as an explorer and photographer. She began to ask if I was in anyway involved in it directly or indirectly and I told her that I couldn’t tell her and she asked me why and if I was afraid to tell her. There again I was stumped. she began, “I know you made some kind of promise of not to tell but you were involved in something and look what it has done to you, made you fearful.” I just shook my head, because I felt as if I was being drawn back in when I was supposed to ending the whole thing. It was as if I was being hypnotized by some unseen force or power or seduced would be the proper word. She began to pray with me.
After the prayer she told me that I needed to write some things down that some where down the line some one in my family had an affair there’s some kind of deception but the only deception I could think about was the fact that she was deceiving me and her words burning into me, changing my perspective. I could recall how she had said that she needed to be in control and that she moves spirits “it’s what she does.” She would always ask how the meditation went and how I felt and honestly I didn’t quite know how to respond to her because something was off, something gradually just didn’t seem right but it was something I already knew but was not secure about.
The day that I was going to finally tell her that I could no longer see her and continue on with this she had gotten into a small car accident and oddly enough that night so did I. I couldn’t believe it, but I believe that it was God and him alone, my journey wasn’t over God hadn’t given up on me he was still there guiding me back to him making a way for me. She called me later on that day telling me she needed to see me and explained what had happened and I then told her what happened to me as far as my accident.
I told her that I felt I had grown a lot but I didn’t really want to tell her over the phone about the message that God had given me and how he had worked in my life and was continuing to work in my life and whether she understood or not was irrelevant I knew in my heart it was time for me to change it was time for me to make a more conscience effort to do right and not always do what I think is right but what God says is right. I knew that by leaning on my own understanding of things I would not understand but only by trusting in him would I be able to overcome. I understood that he had delivered me, that he had opened my eyes completely and that he had always been trying to do so but I didn’t want to listen. That Saturday would be the day that I told her the truth or at least I thought.
I didn’t know what to do I went in there with all the intention of ending this whole thing. I walked through the door and her little daughter was there. I was surprised because I thought that she would take her inside but she let her stay out there. She left a moment and the little girl was talking to me and then she entered back and she was like, “have you met my daughter,” and I told her no I’ve seen her before though she told me her name and it was so hard for me to tell her what I needed to and stand firm with it because it was a distraction. She even said it herself, I know this is a distraction and I should have gotten the message then when she said it. It was indeed a distraction because I couldn’t commit to what I said I was going to do when I got there. It was like the devil was drawing me in once again I just couldn’t do it once again. I couldn’t believe it!
She asked me, “What is it that you want to say?” and I told her, I said to her, “When people come in here they want some kind of answer right?” she replied, “yes,” and I began again, “and they expect you to answer them, you help them right? They want you to help them right?” and she said “Yes, but I don’t help everyone, some people I have to turn down.” I then went on to tell her what the Bible says about psychics and going to see fortune-tellers and she tried to defuse my words and tell me how it was a fairly new word. Then she went on about the negativity and how the negativity was drawing us further and further apart. She explained that if she couldn’t help people she became broken…broken…I just couldn’t believe that, something about what she said sounded so fabricated so unauthentic.
It just didn’t sound real to me. How could she become broken? How can one essentially play God and say things that contradict and then claim to be broken? I was so in torment and she explained that she felt as if she was trying to convince me and asked if I wanted to continue to move forward. The crazy thing is, it’s always been my choice so what was it that I was trying to hold on too, what could she help me with that God didn’t already say that he would do for me. I was a fool but for what? So we continued on with this Tango so to speak and she could see how vulnerable I was I guess I just lost my balance I felt like I was loosing myself… and only God could find me and bring me back to life, how and why did I allow myself to get this far, shame on me. She took one look at me, maybe she even laughed inside and said to me, “Look at you.” My posture was sunken, as if in defeat. I was drowning I knew it, and she knew it … Perhaps even the devil knew it and he rejoiced in it, but I couldn’t let them win.
This was the hardest battle I had ever had to face in my life why was this happening to me but where I am weak I knew God was strong. It was as if she was trying to scare me. She was like, ” You are weak spiritually, you need me.” I didn’t know if I knew who I was anymore it was like I was loosing myself… I told her about the dream that I had and how it told me not to come back and she said “Oh that’s the devil.” I didn’t believe it, I know that it couldn’t be true, I just felt in my heart that she didn’t know what she was talking about.
That night she took the items out the ones with the money in the envelope with the pictures and she lit a candle and place the items to my stomach and began praying with me with her hand against mine and then she brought the items up against my chest and we prayed but in vain because these prayers where not spiritual in nature but of flesh. She left shortly after and came back with a huge Superman looking Crystal and some lavender and salt water she was like I need you to wash with this. If it takes all that, it really isn’t worth it is all I could think but I accepted it.. but why?.. I would rather drink all night and had gone to a club then accept these foolish things . I can’t believe that I allowed myself to get this far but it’s not unlike many that fall victim to brainwash and illusion. I knew it was wrong so why was I continuing to walk directly in darkness.
Before I left, she told me not to let anyone see the crystal and I had someone waiting in the car so she said for me just to say it was a book or something frivolous, and then is when I knew, this was definitely not where I should be and not what I needed to be doing, I realized that from this very lie this very deceitful act I was indeed playing with fire, and you know when you play with fire you are bound to get burned. God forgive me was all I could think. I felt horrible like I just wanted to escape. After I left I went to get something to eat I sat there with my friend and I brought two drinks, I felt like I wanted to die.. I continued to drink I went to the liquor store and I bought more alcohol and I just began to drink, I think I was trying to drink it all away, honestly I just wanted to die, I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore, I didn’t want to be tormented by the flesh and spirit what a battle it is.
Where was my faith, who was I ..where did I go… why , why, why? Why Me? When did this begin . Oh yea it began when I chose to walk through that door, I’m the one that opened the door and this happened because of my choices. We don’t have to let half the things happen to us but we allow them into our lives because of our unbelief. I can hear him speak to me, that is the Holy Spirit, and I have heard him speak to me but I do not listen… why is this? What is this force that keeps me from doing right this temptation. I ask God to deliver me from and it is not he who tempts me for he cannot tempt me for he is not tempted.
Shayla
That next day I pondered my decisions. I needed to just leave the whole thing alone, it was as if something deep down inside wanted to prove her wrong, part of me wanted to save her but it was not up to me to save her it’s was up to God, up to his will. This was the hardest battle for me, but it wasn’t for me to understand. I realize that I was trusting in myself. The fact that she said that I was too weak to do anything and that I needed her, deeply bothered me. For I know that we are all weak, but it is in our weakness our inability that he carries us.
God wants us to take refuge in him, surrender to him and submit to him so that we can be protected, and he will protect us, but we must turn from wicked. The devil hates us and he wants nothing more than to destroy us. I can recall the first night that my heart was touched and I felt God was trying to send me a message because my heart had hardened as I was living for the longest while in sin. I was living YOLO you know the saying, “you only live once”. I just wanted to live this life like a true rock star without any regard for God or much at all. I had partied every weekend, I was drinking so much going to bars and clubs and just acting like a straight up heathen, I didn’t really care anymore I just wanted to enjoy life. I forgot about God. I remember it as if it was yesterday.
It was a few days after the new year of 2013 and I had felt as if a darkness and come over me and I told a friend about it. The next night would prove to be something of the divine. I had a dream that I would come to meet a psychic or a palm reader that next night a friend stopped by that was heavily into Santeria a form of African Voodoo. She wanted to go see the psychic and that’s how my downfall began. These are perilous times we live in, dangerous times and I was already aware that I must be cautious because the traps are far and wide. I know what I can and can’t do and I know most definitely know what God can and will do and what he has done in my life. I can’t stand for anyone to tell me anything when I know better. Eva was either trying to deceive me or deceived herself, but I think it was a little bit of both. God had not closed my eyes or kept anything from me that I shouldn’t know and I was grateful for him sending his holy spirit to help me to discern because without him I’d be a lost sheep and I knew what was right, but we all fall short because of our sinful natures.
Somehow, oddly I’m back again I was at square one. It seemed like every time I tried to tell her that I think this wasn’t right she would try to explain to me how it was. I mean it started getting weird with the crystal at which I had to give back and of course that upset her. I was then sent home with a big white candle and red cloth in which I was told to pray with. There were three white wicks on top of the candle the first one representing the past, the second the present and the other was the future.
She told me to write down a few words on the cloth like healing, freedom, success, passion, etc, and I was to visualize red and white. I remember a few days prior I had stopped by as we had made an appointment and she didn’t answer, I thought that was so strange. She had apologized saying that it was something that happens from time to time and that she couldn’t guarantee that it wouldn’t happen again. “It’s just how this energy works,” she had said.
All I could do is shake my head and think, well maybe, but then again maybe not. She asked me how I was feeling emotionally that day and I told her that it felt like such a strange day, very weird. She was surprised that I picked up on the day and she had told me that it was a very negative day. She told me to come in that Wednesday as I had to tell her something and after we spoke briefly she said, “Now yesterday you wanted to ask me something?” I was almost shocked that she remembered because I was actually second thinking asking her.
I finally got the words out and I asked her, “How do you know these messages are coming from God?” I could tell she was annoyed and she then replied, “Because I have the holy-spirit.” I wasn’t so sure about that. From there we went on and it was as if she was trying to get back at me for what I asked her by telling me everything I was lacking but it didn’t really bother me because I know that I was lacking a lot but it was up to me to fix it and God because he heals the broken and only he could put these broken pieces together because that’s what “he” does.
She did pray with me before I left and told me that she would be praying for me on and off for a few days with some breaks in between. I had spoken with her on the phone the next three days and she asked about my progress and how I was feeling and I was actually having a great day, I’d been thinking about a few things and putting a lot of things in perspective about what made sense and what didn’t make a whole lot of sense and this was definitely something that really was not clicking in my head. Because usually when people go to see a psychic they have their readings once and that’s it but the fact that I had to keep going back seemed ridiculous almost as if I couldn’t do it on my own and that’s exactly how it almost felt, as if I was dependent upon her as if she was the only one that could “save me“.
My days began to make a little more sense as I went on without a word from her or contacting her. I’d been praying for wisdom and understanding and was doing a little research and things just started to hit me like a sack of potatoes. That which I already knew and may not have needed to be reminded, but not to put my faith in a human being, not my whole faith because people let you down and the one unchanging force was God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.
She text me to come in on a Wednesday and it really didn’t go too well. She told me I was like a paper bag floating in the wind. I just looked at her and she went on to say that I was indecisive, and she went on and on and I started to laugh and I asked her, what exactly do you mean? She replied I’m not saying this to insult you. I just smiled and shook my head and she says, “Shayla you disagree with everything that I say.” I didn’t disagree with everything she said just most of what she said because a lot of things she said were true but a lot of things I felt she didn’t quite understand and that’s not for me to prove. She wanted me to come back that following Monday so I left and text her a message stating that I am going to change and I am growing, but not necessarily in accordance to her and while I did agree with her on certain things, it was not in entirety.
I told her that the spirit of God within me is free to operate to the extent that my soul has been broken, not empowered. When we are weak he is strong. Of course I didn’t get a reply back, but I wasn’t really expecting one, I know she read it and the next day I told her I wouldn’t be coming in because I had a meeting to attend. So, I made up in my mind I was pretty much done with the whole situation.
She can keep the money all of that because I’m not fighting with her I don’t really feel the need to engage her anymore I was told already by God not to go so how many times am I to disobey him when he so plainly said “NO”. Am I to continue to test him? No, not at all. The way I look at it is. Quite possibly she may have been appealing to my senses in that she knows that I am a woman that believes in God, and I hate to say it, she possibly was playing on that, which I hoped not. However, deceit works this way, the craftiness of people and the scheming of their evil ways.
But I hope that she continues to speak of God even in her evil ways that she may or may not be aware of because with bad or good, sometimes good things come out of bad, without people realizing it. This experience was a great test and I think that by going through this I have learned to trust solely upon God. I realize now how we are so flawed, so hopelessly lost without him. Had I put all my faith in her and trust in her, I would be rejecting God and even though she tried to make it clear that she was some sort of ‘messenger’ of God this is false because while she says she’s a Christian and has the holy spirit she practices ‘spiritism’ and this goes against God. You can’t love God and do evil and love evil for the two will constantly be in conflict with each other, you cannot have two masters.
She’s a ‘Christian’ that reads tarot cards to people. A Christian that reads astrology charts. These things are not of God but of the devil. So that would make her a hypocrite and would make me a fool and a hypocrite so I needed to stop, while I was ahead and I am fully conscious and aware of what was really going on there.
The next meeting didn’t go as successful as I had planned I walked in there once again with every intention of stopping the whole thing. It’s as if some force is stopping, maybe it’s just me. However, I was beyond the point of curiosity as I am already aware of what I was up against and what this whole thing was truly about. Eva asked how my mediation went and she wanted to know detail by detail what I do and how I do it, and how I work with the candles and the cloth she told me to write on and work with me, she asked if I had brought in the sample of my work, as far as my goals and the books I am working on and I told her no. She told me why is it that I never do what she tells me, how come I can’t find the time to do it. I told her I do have some problems with her and I while I hear what she says because she makes some good points that I felt like a hypocrite because while she says she is a Christian and she expects me to believe that she also believes in astrology and uses tarot cards which makes her
a hypocrite as well because it says while I believe and trust in God I also believe in stars and worship of heavenly bodies and that a card (tarot card) can change people’s lives. S
he was of course offended without really showing it, but I know she was. But she went on to defend her practice by saying that she doesn’t read tarot cards with me or do astrology with me as if that justified it and made it better. You can’t love both Good and Evil. Just as you can not serve two masters.. Just as you cannot have heaven and hell, you can not search for heaven and find hell it just doesn’t work that way. She went on to tell me a bit about her other clients. She told me to she spoke to Doctors and bankers etc and etc.. she told me that they come in and she talks to them and they do what she says, and I felt as if she feels what she does helps by her own hands, and I think that people, even the smartest of people will believe anything, that’s just how we as humans operate we are so smart yet we are so ignorant and without a higher power leading us we
would and will surely be doomed.
She said she talks to them and they might have to leave abruptly but they always find time. Well I do have plenty of time but not for nonsense. She then went on to tell me that it was none of my business as if I asked her to share all the information about her other clients, frankly I could care less. I do however, care about becoming a better person, and not just a “good person” but a woman that God would have me to be and with all my flaws I know he still loves me because even when we are not faithful he is always faithful and he is just and it was completely starting to make sense to me. We need to listen to our instinct and that which is called instinct is a God given blessing, it is an instructor, it is a warning.
Now, most will not understand this or realize this but we all have 3 voices speaking within us, and I’m not talking about a mental disorder or some type of syndrome like dissociative disorder or multiple personality disorder, what I am speaking of is something more on the side of what we think in our own mind which is our own voice, and then there’s the evil voice which is that of the influence of Satan and then there is that “still small” voice, that is the holy-spirit. A lot of people may not know this voice but they still hear it, it’s the one that says “Don’t do that it’s not a good idea,” and how often do we ignore this voice? I know I have many times in my life and it’s lead me to a lot of wrong decisions and wrong places, kind of like this place.
This lady has told me without telling me exactly who she is. She says, she deals with simple people and intelligent people. She somewhat exalts herself in a way in which may appear humble but it is not, it is a game, this whole thing was a game. She says that I need help, and she’s was right I did, but it’s not up to her to help me because I already have a helper and if I just ask and believe it is always done. She told me God is not going to send an angel because that would be too easy, but this is her dull mind set because God can do as he pleases and maybe he won’t send and angel but that is not for her to say because all I have to do is speak to him and I know he has my back and he always had if not I know I wouldn’t be here today.
Not only was she unprofessional, with her kid coming into the area we were speaking with she was deceived and deceiving. I was completely done.
The next time I saw her would be my final. She had told me to come in so when I called and told her I was there she told me to give her a minute which turned into 30 minutes, again so ridiculous and unprofessional and even if I were to had believed her that type of professionalism would have made me question her greatly. So I walked in knowing exactly what I wanted. She asked me to have a seat and for some reason she had the biggest smile on her face as if she had conquered something or something great had happened.
But it seemed strange like as if there was something else there taking her place. I think of it later and I feel she was semi-possessed if not fully and was definitely unaware. So she told me to take a seat at which I was hesitant and she said ” You weren’t supposed to come in you were supposed to call.” I thought to myself, here we go with this game. So with that I told her, “I’m done.” She just smiled and she asked “Is there a problem can I know why?” I just replied “no,” and then she asked, “Well do you have any questions and I said “no,” and still with a smile she said, “well give me a few days I have to release from your work.” Whatever the heck that meant. She asked me to call her that Wednesday and then I just left.
Those couple of days were the longest but shortest in my life, for one I was so mad, I was mad at her mad at myself so many emotions were going through my mind. Ultimately it was my own decisions that lead me there. So I called and she didn’t pick up, her voicemail was full so I decided to text her a message and I said simply that I thank her for whether she may realize it or not she helped me a great deal in that she increased my faith in God. I ended it with saying may God’s ever loving mercy be upon her.
Shortly after that she called me and apologized for missing my called, which I knew after that message she would reach out. She asked me if everything was okay and I said I was fine, I even asked how she was and she replied by saying she was “well”. So, she went carrying on and I said I called because you asked me and I just wanted to say thank you, and she said, “what are you thanking me for?” I told her I was thanking her because she helped me and she may not fully understand how but she increased my faith in God and she replied “Oh so you are telling me these works were positive that they helped you.” I said , “Yes and no”. She didn’t understand and I told her that people are not conquests.
She was completely taken aback when I said that. She was almost shocked and replied by saying, “no one has ever told me anything like that ever in my life. Not ever.” She continued, “I don’t know where you would get that from. Do you think I take pride in what I do?” I told her “Well, I’m not quite sure what your motivation is.” She replied, “What do you mean my motivation. I don’t do this for money, I’m not a business person.” I just said nothing but thought to myself if you are not a business person why do you take money from people. She then went on to say there was great hindrance in our work and she wanted to know if I would come in, and I said no. So she started talking about me and how I was this and that and I needed to do this and I can’t be a blind person leading the blind but it is clear that she has no clear understanding of who God was and I wasn’t trying to condemn her or persecute her but I was telling her what it was and how it is. You can’t be a
Ppsychic and a Christian. You can’t love good and do evil. You can’t serve two masters it doesn’t work that way.
She asked did I even do the meditations and I told yes, I did but it didn’t take all that, but she was so steadfast and determined that it was the way. So she said she had a client and she had to go and left me with a “God bless dear.” I know for a fact that she will think about what I said and I hope one day she will understand, but that’s not for me but for God to deal with and I know he will, he always does. The next couple of days would prove to be the most trying of all. I was dealing with the fact that I couldn’t get through to someone that was supposed to be getting through to me as ironic as that may seem.
I came in her business originally because a friend was interested in getting a reading and low and behold it drained me of my pride, $1945.00, and my sense of myself. I began to think about some of the things she said, some of it was true but she was more psychological than psychic. Anyone can understand were a person is coming from once you’ve been talking to them for a while, observing them and their mannerism, however it was her motivation, her intent and certain characteristics that really quite bothered me. Her leading questions and alluding to answers and re-stating what I had already said and it just became too obvious that she was a very good scam or should I say con artist. She certainly had me to a certain degree.
I decided that enough was enough though, I wasn’t going to listen to anymore of her answers and her asking me to do ritualistic things in my eyes because I just did not think it was necessary, really she would have been better off being some type of life coach if anything. However, like she once told me, she wasn’t a banker or a businessperson, this was what she did, her mother taught her how to do what she did. She was the fourth generation, in my eyes a fourth generation scam artist but who am I to judge, I wasn’t perfect either. People do what they feel they have to do I suppose. Each time I tried to explain her error she rejected it, and tried to justify herself and explain why she did things the way she did.
She said she “provided a place for people to come because the church won’t accept them,” but these just sound like excuses because the way I see it, is if you really want something you will look for it and not have to go into darkness to find it. How can you search for heaven and find hell? I had to find that out on my own.
I don’t necessarily agree with everything that defines many of the churches doctrines of this day. Are they full of hypocrites? A lot of them and the people make up the church so it is indeed sad when I hear things like that, and that is what makes a church unfruitful, by it’s deeds and the boundaries it places in front of people. No one is perfect but no one deserves to be condemned by anyone else because of this fact that we are all flawed and at our very best very wicked people.
I did struggle with the fact that I did want to call her back and just ask her to meet me somewhere and just talk to her, but how arrogant of me to think that I could do it on my own with my own power because it really wasn’t on my own that I could change people, you can’t make people change for God moves in a way (his spirit) that is so mysterious and he has a plan for each person’s life whether they want it or not. Many will not hear the message, sometimes it takes a disaster for people to wake up and sometimes it’s more subtle, sometimes we are humbled and realize just how wrong we truly are.
The point is, change happens because we open our hearts to possibility. We have to want it and we have to work at it because it doesn’t happen over night. Some people will look at their life and say: I am not happy, let me go out and get a better job or two jobs so I can have more money and receive happiness. They think that happiness is in things, or success or even in people, but this is error, happiness in this sense translates into something that is temporary just a mood at the time or a moment in time. True happiness is peace, it is being happy with everything you have including yourself as a whole.
You’re not going to go out searching for it because to be honest it was right there within your reach to begin with. However, you had to find it, you had to say no matter what I’m going to be happy and really it all comes from God and when we pray he give us that peace, that no matter what circumstances you are going through he replaces it with comfort. The Holy Spirit is free to move within the extent of the person whose soul has been broken, not empowered. That is just how it works, you can not exalt yourself and expect not to get knocked down it has been said that, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” So that’s how it works.
Life can be a crazy place sometimes but it’s not meant to be easy. A lot of the times we make it harder than what it is really suppose to be. Do I want to save the world? Probably, but it’s not my job to save it, it is my job to influence and become a better individual, that is how you change the world, you lead by example not by force. This has been the worst but ultimately best experience of my life. It changed who I was; it made me want to change. I think had I been any other way however, had I not had any idea of who God was or any knowledge of the Bible, things would have been worse for me.
I feel that some people may have realized but it takes a certain type of individual, a certain quality to understand certain things. We are all fools, but even a fool can become a leader. The wise and the rich along with all their money and power and land and material things die to the dirt of the ground like animals. No one is exempt from death but the point of it all is to live now.
True forgiveness is when you can say thank you for that experience. I definitely learned a great deal from it. I began to wonder if what she was saying was true because some of it did come true or to a certain degree. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so much so that I almost felt as if I wanted to go back but I didn’t thank God. A week would follow and I was supposed to go to a very empowering conference the speaker was going to be Joyce Meyers a very prominent writer and pastor but I was so distraught about my choices and decisions as of that time I didn’t know if I should go or not and was making every excuse in my head not to and I’m sure the devil was busy too implanting thoughts in my head.
I was so upset, thinking she was right about some things I woke up that next morning and I God instantly sent me a message he told me to read Lamentations 2:14 and it said clearly what I already knew to be true but didn’t want to listen obviously, but if you have ever read the verse in the bible or are familiar with it you know that it says; “Visions of your prophets were false and worthless, they did not expose your sin to ward off your captivity. The Prophecies they gave you were false and misleading.” Another translation would be: “The visions which your prophets have seen for you are false and foolish; they have not made clear to you your sin so that your fate might be changed: but they have seen for you false words, driving you away.”
Shayla
Often time to win us over, an instrument of the darkness tells us truths, to try to win us with honest trifles to betrayals in deepest consequence. So while I was beginning to doubt once again that maybe she had some truth I was forgetting that deception especially with this particular situation was worked in this way, to keep you unsure, now had I gone back and kept going back damning myself to much conflict debt not only monetarily but mental and emotionally.
She was trying to break me down but thank goodness I serve a powerful God, a God that loves and cares for me even when we are faithless he is faithful and this is a perfect example of that. I know a lot of people don’t believe in God but they need to, because he will answer every prayer and he knows your heart. He may not come when you want him but he is always on time. Sometime his answer is yes, sometimes no and sometimes wait, but you must listen to his voice, it is a still quiet voice and by this, I mean it is a small voice within you and some people like to call it your ‘conscience’.
God nudges at us, He wants us to draw near to Him so He can draw near to us. He isn’t forceful but He makes us aware of a lot of things and sometimes we ignore a lot of things but he will never harm you, I think we do that ourselves, in fact I know it. Then we beat ourselves up about when all we had to do was listen to that voice, that nudge, His Spirit.
Everything that happens in the world is made to work out according to God’s purpose. Evil exists, but it is not allowed to thwart God’s providence. God uses even sinful men for His purposes.’
Shayla of New York.
0.000000
0.000000
Our Spiritual Quest 