Stop Being Nice, Be Kind: Truth Matters!

‘So many Christians think being “nice” is the highest form of Christ-likeness. “Go along to get along” is the modern doctrine by default. Don’t make waves. Don’t be “controversial.” Don’t question the official narratives of this world. But on the contrary, we are COMMANDED both to take no part in fruitless deeds of darkness AND to expose them. (Eph 5:11).

Ephesians 4:15 encourages us about, ‘speaking the truth in love.’

Love is speaking out to save people from Satan’s traps that will destroy them. You inevitably adopt evil when you value “being nice” over speaking out to expose the works of darkness. Silence in the face of such evil and deception in this world where everything is inverted is not love. Truth often makes one uncomfortable, that is the nature of truth in a sea of acceptable lies. Truth divides. Truth sometimes even hurts as it lays bare the false ideology we’ve bought into from the world’s systems. Truth rarely makes one popular in great times of deception. Speak the truth in love. That is what we are called to do.


The world is groaning right now. People are looking for answers to what in the world is happening to our civilization and way of life. All of these subjects point right back to the age old battle between Satan and God, and God’s plan for humanity. Shine the light on the deception, and point back to Jesus. Make no mistake about it, it is ALL spiritual warfare manifesting in our dimension, and if we truly love our neighbor, we will not be silent.’

By RJ Stoddard.

Romans 2:4

One of RJ’ s friends quoted the following:

STOP BEING NICE.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

The word “NICE” doesn’t appear in the Bible. This may be surprising because many of us have been taught Christians are supposed to be “nice.” Be polite. Don’t be confrontational. Let it go. Don’t make waves. Keep your mouth shut. Don’t offend. Be NICE. The reality is our propensity to settle for being “nice” is rooted in our desire to be liked and often results in dysfunctional politeness. I’m writing today to encourage you to STOP BEING NICE.

Here me clearly, I’m not encouraging you to be rude or unloving. I’m actually asking you to do a far better and nobler thing than being NICE. I want to you be KIND. The words KIND (250) and KINDNESS (56) are found over three hundred times in the Bible—and a careful reading of each use reveals what God calls us to is much more than being dysfunctionally NICE to one another. God calls us to BE KIND.

Wait a minute—aren’t NICE and KIND really the same thing? Not really. Which begs the question, what’s the difference between NICENESS—and godly, truthful KINDNESS?

NICENESS wears the veneer of KINDNESS—but it’s not truly loving and its outcome can be cruel. We often choose niceness instead of truthfulness because we don’t want to hurt people. We want to lift them up and encourage them because our world needs as much goodwill these days as we can get—but when we shield people from the truth in an effort to be nice, it’s anything but loving.

In his book, “Loving Kindness,” Barry Corey, the president of Biola University, helps distinguish between NICENESS and KINDNESS. He writes, “Whereas aggression has a firm center and hard edges, niceness has soft edges and a spongy center. Niceness may be pleasant, but it lacks conviction. It has no soul. Niceness trims its sails to prevailing cultural winds and wanders aimlessly, standing for nothing and thereby falling for everything.” This “spongy center” is what makes NICENESS so malleable. It’s like a ship without an anchor. There’s nothing that keeps it fixed and in place—so it drifts with the circumstances.

KINDNESS, on the other hand, has what Corey calls, “a firm center with soft edges.” Kindness has conviction. It has courage. It has a solid backbone. It’s also after something more than being accepted or getting along. It’s a radical commitment to speaking truth. It expresses costly love. Kindness isn’t blandly pleasant, and it’s definitely not safe. Kindness takes risk. It walks lovingly toward difficulty and risks derision. It doesn’t shrink in the face of conflict. NICENESS avoids conflict and retreats from the prospect of adversity. It prefers the comfort of the status quo. Kindness doesn’t revel in tumult, but it has the fortitude to persevere in love in spite of it.

KINDNESS and NICENESS are easily confused because they both have “soft edges” that welcome others and facilitate social interaction—but they are fundamentally different at the core. One way to distinguish them is in knowing who they aim to please. Niceness is motivated by people-pleasing, but kindness is motivated by faithfulness to God. When people-pleasing is our guide, we will fail to love God and others well. Corey explains it this way, “NICENESS is keeping an employee on the job while knowing he’s no longer the right fit, but failing him and the company because you don’t have the courage to do the kind thing. KINDNESS calls you to tell him he’s not the person for the position and then dignify him in transition.” KINDNESS calls us to be honest in a way that’s loving—even when it’s not always NICE.

Niceness stays silent when those we love do destructive things. Kindness loves them enough to speak the truth while continuing to love. Niceness looks the other way when we see someone settle for less-than-God’s-best. Kindness cares enough to stay focused, speak truth, and give direction. Niceness allows dysfunction to continue in an effort to keep an uneasy peace. Kindness refuses to allow dysfunction to continue unaddressed in an effort to pursue lasting peace. Niceness avoids conflict in an effort to be liked. Kindness engages conflict in hopes of being respected. Niceness settles for hollow, bland, lifeless relationships that settle for mediocrity. Kindness pursues deep, vibrant, life-giving relationships that bring the best out in each other.

For most of our lives, we’ve been taught to BE NICE—but Jesus calls us to more. I encourage you to STOP BEING NICE and pursue the more excellent way—BE KIND.

I hope you read this with the KINDNESS God desires.’

An Unknown Author.

Link To RJ’s Original Post:

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______________________

Laura's bloghttps://ourspiritualquest.com/

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