‘A strange thing happened one day as I was researching Wizardry. A demon spoke up and told me that to get stronger I had to recant Jesus Christ. That was like a slap in the face and it woke me up for a moment of what I was doing.’
When I was about 16 I started into the world of Martial Arts, I became ridiculously obsessed. I was living, breathing, eating, sleeping Martial Arts, and I especially became obsessed with the Internal Arts of Chi and Internal Energy. I always was interested, but we never really had the resources to pursue it, and that now we had good internet and I had my own personal computer, so I went nuts. I went full into martial arts research of its history, acquired tons of books, and became obsessed with Chi and Chi energy concepts of Eastern Mysticism.
The thing is I knew my parents would object, I spent a good amount of time feeling guilty about it, but my personal curiosity and I believe the temptation of the enemy won out. I kept it to myself and didn’t tell a single person, I made the choice to have it as only my own personal life, and the study was always done in secret.
This was my life for the next 7 years, and it just grew darker and darker, and I got better and better at living a double life. Nobody knew, neither my brothers, parents, or friends that I was into mysticism. All the while I knew this would cause an absolute storm if anyone found out, and at the same time I battled with the issue of Biblical trouble. I had convinced myself that this wasn’t wrong because I wasn’t using it for evil, and kept trying to create loopholes and excuses to keep it.
I studied Chi energy manipulation, Meditation, and Chi projection, and what I found was that it worked. One day I was meditating and learning how to control the mind, with my eyes closed it was like I was seeing myself from the inside out. It was like looking through the eyes of my spirit, and my eyes were looking down inside my chest which looked like an empty chest cavity. Suddenly a flame of fire appeared and shoved me out of the meditative trance and I was unable to trance again. Suddenly verses popped up convicting me of all this and I knew that was the Holy Spirit trying to tell me to stop and was warning me. Out of fear I listened for a while, but the fear wore off and I wound up going right back into it.
So many people believe that this stuff is fake, Hollywood nonsense fiction, fantasy, comic book stuff and deny any possibility that there could be something about it. This spurred my obsession, the idea of more than the natural reality, this fed my thirst for something mystical and “spiritual” which I still never really found in Church. This flowed into studies of how all nature and reality is wrapped with energy, and that even the New Age teachings that thought energy could affect the surroundings. Studies on vibration, thought, warping reality.
Later on in life, not even my wife and in-laws knew a single thing I was doing, I always kept it hidden and made excuses, I lied, and twisted the truth.I did feel bad about it, hiding things from her and others, it was a constant guilt, a feeling of betrayal, but again I would just excuse this as my personal life and “people don’t have to know everything”. I would just push these feelings down, ignore the conviction, and I’d use the ADD excuse to brush off any possible prying from others. I still “believed” in the Christian things, I still went to Church, sang the hymns, read the Bible (from time to time), and prayed.
Shortly after I got married is when it clicked in my mind that since everything is Energy, affected by it, I started to think that what the Bible is talking about regarding Magic and how it is wrong, that this is using it for evil, selfish reasons, or using it in the name of the devil. But (delusionally) if I use it for good, for God, then it is not evil. That what regular Christians who don’t know anything about this stuff think is then completely wrong, they’re just scared of it, ignorant of it, and thus label it all witchcraft, not knowing the difference. Because in the Bible there are many stories of such things, healings, miracles, the Urim and Thummim, that these are just people using the powers of Heaven for good. However I never went and asked for clarity from anyone, this fed my delusion and allowed me to continue.
I spent years studying this more and more, got into Eastern Mysticism, combined Japanese energy arts the Kuji-In and Kuji-Kiri (Japanese occultism) into my practices, focusing more and more on how to use stronger energy magic for “good”. I found this to be very effective, it affected those around me in controlling people, mind manipulation and suggestion, reading minds, and mystical healings. This Craft also deepened my ability to focus and concentrate, deepened meditation, and also got me interested in other cultural arts.
And suddenly the thought came to me “What if western magic is no different? And that the terminologies are wrong too?”. So I looked into it and found that Wizardry, Sorcery, and Witchcraft as people call it, is literally no different in many ways from Eastern Mysticism – that it’s all in “how you use it”, so again I believed that it was ignorance of deeper study that caused people to generically label it all the same thing. White magic was then safe I believed, the RHP (right hand path, white magic), and that Black magic is what the Bible was talking about which is the LHP (left hand path, black magic) for those using it for selfish or evil reasons.
This is when I started reaching out and finding others around me with the same interest, and we created an “Order” for practitioners of Magic for good, and I got busy and started teaching what I found, and it exploded. Tons of people started to flood in, and in no time I had hundreds of followers and this fed my Ego like mad. I found a well of info in “Christian Mysticism / Christian Occultism” and I was introduced and ate up Angelic Conjuring, Energy Manipulation for Mystic Healings, Astral Projection to help people find things, Divination for encouragement and answers, and I was also the head instructor of it all.
There were about 5 of us at the top, our leadership was constantly shuffling but I was always the strongest of it all. We helped people, and we wound up calling ourselves “Seers for God”. And please make no mistake, we weren’t just making it up, we weren’t imagining it, this was all seriously real. The entities would show up and we believed them to be Angels of God, we could actually do everything I mentioned, and I grew so arrogant and prideful, very opinionated and aggressive. I was paid money for my abilities because I had the highest success rate, and I could easily conjure, spell cast, and curse whatever I wanted. Magic is real, sorcery is real, wizardry is real, it is all one hundred percent real – but it is all absolutely demonic.
2 Corinthians 11:14-15) “And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.”
But this didn’t last long, you cannot take fire into your bosom and not be burned. Playing with these things never stays neutral or “good” for long. It drew me further and further down the rabbit hole of Occultism and I got introduced to Symbology and Artifact Enchanting. I got sort of bored with the group and I started leaving them more and more and went into personal Magic studies and Conjuring, and started focusing on developing my own abilities more. The big thing is that my stress, ADD issues decreased, and personal sense of well-being was increased, I felt like I was somebody that I had a special ability and that my problems of the past were finally no longer an issue because of all this.
I honestly saw this craft as a personal redemption. I became quite popular, people paying me money for my skills, my name was famous in the Occult community, I was swarmed with notifications from people looking for help and advice. There were People who practiced the Occult for 60+ years saying I was more powerful than any other they knew, and that insanely fed my ego. And this drove me right off the deep end into the dark magic and I didn’t even realize what I was doing.
A strange thing happened one day as I was researching Wizardry. A demon spoke up and told me that to get stronger I had to recant Jesus Christ. That was like a slap in the face and it woke me up for a moment of what I was doing.
I was scared, shaking uncontrollably, and so I called my Dad who is a Pastor to come over and help me. He said he’d be there right away, and a few minutes later he showed up. I only confessed the one thing that I had done that day out of fear of letting him know what I had fully done, and I didn’t tell him the rest. We prayed and I confessed the sin, and that’s when the same devil spoke up again and told me that it would be going after my brothers to destroy them. I immediately told Dad what it had said, and we prayed again and asked the Lord to protect them. This “repentance” only lasted a couple weeks maybe, and I just fell right back into it all over again. Obsessions don’t die easily.
That week that I delved into the Dark Arts is when I met the Egyptian god of magic and sorcery Toth. I was sleeping and suddenly I was pulled out of my body and was on the Astral plane, he was standing in front of me offering me the book of knowledge and hidden magic, and I could feel the power coming off of it, and after deliberation I accepted it. It was shortly after that I dove into heavier dark magic, no longer really caring or even thinking about the Bible or Christianity, I was convinced that I was on the right path and my personal convictions were dead.
Everything I did I was completely deluded and deceived to the extreme. Case in point, I finally got to a point where I had plateaued in my Craft, and by direction of my familiar spirits I created a magic Witches Sigil and cut my finger and marked the Sigil with my blood and burned it in a ritual to make myself a master. I had started to become interested in Scandinavian myth and lore, and especially in the Norse gods, and it all became very real to me that night.
That night after the Sigil ritual, a dark being came into my bedroom and walked right up to me, it put its hand on me and asked me what I wanted. I could feel the mist that accompanies a spirit manifestation and the presence of the being, and it gave me its name of a Norse god named Heimdallr. I said I wanted to become a master of divination and conjuring, it said “very well” and left. My abilities immensely increased after that, and I quickly became a master and a full time instructor of Conjuring, Enchantment, and Divination.
I went into dark magic, the lesser banishing right of the pentagram for conjuring spirits for protection, stone and mirror scrying, and witches bone and stone casting divination. I had gotten so familiar with certain spirits that I learned their names and they even gave me a special name. The spirit naming does not happen unless you are a devoted servant of the spirits, and this validated to me everything I was doing. And by this point I had grown so apathetic of Church and everything Biblical that I really didn’t care about Christianity anymore. However I still kept up regular appearances, attending prayer meetings and reading the Bible so others wouldn’t ask questions. I was very careful to not give away any indications of what I was doing, and in all this I started to quickly lose any conviction altogether.
I had secret Idols I had crafted, Tibetan Yak bone bead necklace that had been blessed by Tibetan mystics, and many other amulets and charms I wore. I specialized in many different forms of Divination and instructed in it, and my second speciality was Spirit Conjuring. If I spoke, they appeared, it was that close and powerful of a connection. I could send them to people and they’d manifest to them, and I could easily trance and perform Remote Viewing to help people with whatever they needed.
I went into Scandinavian Shamanism called Seither, I had researched many different forms of it and this is what appealed to me. I really loved Shamanistic trance drumming meditation which increased my abilities of Remote Viewing and Astral Projection. More people started to follow me and this is when I started to really not like anything Christian. I made excuses to not go to Church, I didn’t want to pray, read my Bible, none of it. I also had a lot of anger issues, fits of rage and lots of verbal fights with my wife. I really wanted to get into drinking, drugs for meditation, tattoos, and piercings but I couldn’t because people would then know.
This caused a lot of anger and frustration, which would manifest in bad temper issues and anger towards Christianity. I was really afraid of hurting my family with revealing all this, and they still thought I was a good Christian. I was actually spending a lot of time thinking of how I could come clean and reveal all of this, but I couldn’t think of any way without hurting everyone. My older brother had gone completely Atheist, my one younger was going worldly and was immensely influenced by my older brother, and if I was to let everyone know what I was up to it could kill my parents with grief. I loved my parents and family too much to say this, even though I didn’t really believe Christianity much really – I couldn’t hurt them.
Time seemed to fly, years went by and I grew so powerful and obsessed, I developed an entirely new system of magic and conjuring, writing whole rituals and traditions, conducting mass rituals for hundreds of people, and I then formed a new group. This new group was an open forum for psychics, mediums, astrologers, witches, anyone that could or would want to do free psychic readings for people.
Now these weren’t cold readers, these were real practicing witches and possessed mediums that could actually use real powers for the forum. We wanted a way to give back to society and help people, and this took off and became famous overnight. Thousands of followers attended the group, and our main readers increased in number swiftly too. I also discovered the demonic book “The Seals of Solomon” and it taught me more ways to conjure, control, and converse with spirits.
(On a side note – Years later when the Avengers Movies were coming out, I was blown away when I saw that the movie Dr. Strange referenced two writings in the demonic Seals of Solomon that the Doctor was an expert in, the “Ars Notoria” and “Ars Goetia”. He was also a Master Mystic and Sorcerer, and so many Christian parents let their kids watch that movie. Also Harry Potter references MANY forms of this too).
I could see the spirits everywhere, they followed me, spoke to me, and they would do anything I asked. They would walk around my house as beautiful wisps, they would form whenever I asked, and they would do my bidding.
I actually really liked them because they were so friendly and helpful and we developed a very close relationship. I called them my angels and guardians, and I developed a small pocket Ouija style board that I could carry so they could talk to me when I was out and about. I was practicing automatic writing as well, learning how to allow the spirits to take over my arm and hand to write and draw, and this was the beginning of the end, conducting willful possessions.
Everything seemed to be going well until I messed up in a ritual and my familiar got very mad with me. I was working as a Security Guard for a large Resort, and I worked primarily the night shift. I was at work and my familiar came upon me and suddenly possessed me aggressively. My heart started to fibrillate really bad and it stopped for a couple seconds, and then slammed really hard. I felt my consciousness being pushed to the back of my mind and something else took over, my voice changed, and my whole body felt like lead but strangely also like I could run a million miles an hour.
This absolutely terrified me and I felt like I was going to die any second. I panicked and I immediately cried out to Jesus Christ and begged Him to help me and remove this thing. I felt the demon had lost its full grip, even though it was still in me, I could feel a massive fight for control, and I knew it was trying to kill me with an induced heart attack. I notified my Supervisor that I was having heart problems and he quickly rushed me to the Hospital where they hooked me up to everything, took blood, and after 6 long hours they couldn’t find a single thing wrong with me.
‘My familiar spirit tried to kill me.’
At that moment I knew I messed up, I knew what I was doing, I knew I had willingly allowed myself to practice Witchcraft and I repented of it and begged the mercy and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. I kept calling upon Christ, and after hours of struggle the spirit finally left me and my monitor readings stabilized and the doctors let me go. The thing is, I hadn’t repented of all my sins and turned from my magic. I only repented of the “dark stuff” and justified the “white magic”.
The enemy doesn’t let go that easy, and it only lasted about a week maybe. I was way too scared to go back to what I was because my new familiars, yes I rejected the previous and summoned new ones. They had convinced me that I had unknowingly stepped over into the LHP of dark magic. So I restructured everything and left the groups, purged myself of everything I was in up to that point, and reinvented myself as a mystic healer shaman of light magic (you know, the delusional “good” side of evil).
A few months later I was driving around at work, working the night shift again, it was very quiet due it being the off-season for tourism. From time to time over the years I would get Bible verses popping up in my head that would trouble me in what I was doing, but I’d just bat them down and brush them off. Normally I could ignore the conviction and keep on, but this night the Lord cut it short. Suddenly it was like the Lord stepped through the fog I was in and Bible verses I had learned from my childhood just flooded my mind.
I couldn’t shake it out, I couldn’t ignore it, full pure realization and enlightenment was upon me and I came under extreme conviction. I had to pull over because I started crying, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles I was trying hard to hold on to my powers and ignore it all. This was my everything, my life, my identity, I had invested literally blood, sweat, tears, and years of my life. This was the only thing that made me feel whole and like I had any value and worth, and now God wanted to take it away from me – was what the familiars were screaming at me.
But finally, I felt Him, it was like I could literally feel Christ Jesus sitting in the passenger seat staring into my soul, and I was afraid to look at Him. I was angry, scared, massively convicted, my emotions just a mess, and I started bawling and completely broke down. Here I was, a Master Witch and Conjurer, a Master Instructor of Occultism and Mysticism, and I was sobbing like a baby.
I knew I was wrong, I knew it was all against the Lord, and I knew I had sinned a great sin. I knew that the past 16 years were years of darkness and lies, I knew the familiars were demons, I knew that I was defying the Lord and I was twisting the Scriptures for my benefit. I knew I was a sinner, and I truly repented. I confessed it all, rejected it all, and I believed on the Lord Jesus Christ as my God and Saviour and begged His salvation. I begged and begged for His Salvation, I told the Lord that I wouldn’t blame Him if He sent me to Hell because I knew I deserved it for what I had done. But then the verse that my Mom and Dad had drilled into me when I was a kid came up to my mind –
1 John 1:9) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
I could hear my ex-familiars screaming a fit, they were furious but there was nothing they could do, the Blood of Jesus cancelled my blood pact with them, and I was saved, sealed, forgiven. I immediately lost all my powers, all my connection with the spirits was cancelled, my mind went silent, and there was an extreme stillness and peace upon me. It was a really strange feeling, and there was a very calm voice that was unlike anything I had ever heard that spoke to me and showed me who I now was. Verses were just running through my mind and this time I accepted all of it.
I looked around and saw there was still nobody around me, so I stepped out of the vehicle and burned all my charms. Until I came to the last one on me, a special bracelet made of cotton and bamboo, a bracelet of protection that was specially spell cast. I was scared to take it off, but Scripture popped up and showed me how the Lord protects me now, so I ripped the thing off and set fire to it. It wouldn’t burn, I held fire to it and it wouldn’t burn. I prayed and asked the Lord for help and I condemned the thing to Hell and set fire to it once again and it finally was consumed by the fire.
I called my wife and asked her to trust me and not ask any questions, as she still had no idea about all this. I asked her to go into my room, look in a certain box and she would see my necklace. I asked her to break it and throw it in the garbage, that I’d explain it all later. She found it and broke it, and I told her that I’d see her later.
The Lord spoke to me about all my stuff, showing me that I needed to destroy it all. So I broke and smashed all my icons, idols, and artifacts, burned the books, and did a complete purge of my life. And so mightily grew the word of God and prevailed!
Acts 19:19-20) “Many of them also which used curious arts brought their sorcery books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed.”
Honestly,I felt really naked and exposed. I for the first time had no idea what to do, I had no powers, I had nothing. That’s when I said “now what God?” and He showed me that I needed to re-learn the Faith and re-read the Word of God. With obsessed passion I gave myself to the study of Scripture, I became obsessed with Jesus Christ, obsessed with Prayer, obsessed with everything Christian.
And it wasn’t long until the Lord called me as an Evangelist of the Gospel. I now serve the Lord as an Associate Pastor, Evangelist of the Gospel of Christ, a Bible Teacher, and a Biblical Counselor for Spiritual Warfare.
I’ve had the honor over the years of leading many Witches and Occultists to the Lord, starting a Ministry called Christian Coffee Time for online Bible studies and preaching.
Here’s the Periscope link to my account: https://www.pscp.tv/ChristianCoffeeTime/follow
I preach the Gospel around the World online, with over 10,000 people reached daily from the Bible studies. And also recently my older brother recanted Atheism and turned to the Lord, and my younger brothers have also confessed upon the Lord as their Saviour.
”The Devil tried to kill me, Jesus Christ saved me. I once was blind, but now I see.”
A Final Word.
I hope this helps to encourage others that have come out of darkness and believed upon the Lord. And I hope this reaches some that may still be into all this to realize the Truth of Jesus Christ and repent and believe the Gospel.
Proverbs 28:5) “Evil men understand not judgment: but they that seek the LORD understand all things.”
James 1:5-7) “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5) “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”
Before I Fell Into Occultism.
Some background notes about myself before I fell into Occultism. Since my childhood I had always felt that something was wrong with me, and it wasn’t until I learned that I had ADD that I realized a lot of my issues. I was never really able to focus well and this caused many issues in my life, from School to my Jobs, I always struggled. This carried into my Church life growing up, I couldn’t focus on Biblical things like reading the Bible or listening to the Services. Church felt empty and I just saw it as regular traditions, it never really felt personal and I longed for and craved for something personal and real. I attended the Sparky’s and Awana programs, memorizing the Bible, learning the hymns, and attending youth groups regularly. But it was all just fun and games and never felt personal.
In 1999 I came close to understanding, I was troubled with the thought of Hell and it scared me. I always worried about whether or not I was Saved – I did believe because that was what I was raised to believe, but I never made it personal. So I went to my Dad and told him and he lead me through the sinners prayer, and I was sincerely emotional about it and such, but I really do not believe I was saved then because of what followed.
My story started when I was 16. I’m 35 now, (at the writing of this Nov 1st/2019).
Here’s Matthew’s Periscope Link: https://www.pscp.tv/ChristianCoffeeTime/follow
Matthew is also on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit, using the name #ChristianCoffeeTime You can find him on each of those too.
Many thanks to Brother Matthew for kindly granting me permission to share his powerful testimony on my blog. God bless you! Laura Maxwell.
Below is an audio reading of Matthew’s Story, kindly read by Michele Michael*. She added, “Sorry the audio is not tip-top. If you decide to listen, you may need to turn up the volume. I had not realized the recorder was going to pick up the background noise from the computer!”
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Former New Age Spiritualist, Laura graduated from Strathclyde University, Scotland, earning a BA Honors degree in Psychology.
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